What is a best friend by definition? “A persons closest friend.” How many can say that have a “best friend” by definition? I know I can. Just having that one person you know you have no matter what. The closest to you in all matters. The one you tell every little detail about your life to. They probably know you like the back of their hand.
So many times I feel like we get comfortable. We just expect that person to be there at every waking minute no matter the situation. Yes that’s what we think, but how many times do we take this for granted. Lately I have been realizing my thank you’s have run short. I have been thinking about all the things people constantly do for me, with or without me asking. The amount of times these acts have occurred are much higher than the amount of praise I’ve given to the people who deserve it the most.
My biggest flaw I think is that I never really get through to people just how much I appreciate what they do. Constantly I can take and I can give in return, but it will never show someone how thankful I am to have them. Letting someone know that you are grateful for them is one of the best feelings another person can feel. I know when someone tells me “hey thank you for doing that for me, it really help out” after a long day I feel a lot better about what I’ve done. I have been taking and taking without giving as much in return. Telling someone simply thank you can go so far, but it isn’t always enough. By definition I need to be the best friend too. I have to listen, solve problems and help the other in return.
I have been lacking when it comes to being a best friend to my best friend. Letting someone know you are there through it all is what matters the most. Nobody likes someone who isn’t here to stay in this world full of temporary people. It’s times to open up my ears and listen. I need to take my turn to fix my mistakes and others, but also apologize for the ones that can’t be reversed. What can we do to make others more aware of our gratitude? This has had me stumped for awhile. I don’t want to just tell someone thank you. Thank you means something, but it’s not always meaningful. What about switching it up with an “I really appreciate you” or “your the best”? I am still stuck on trying to become better, everyday I am learning.
Tell your person you care about their feelings too. Tell them you are so thankful they exist. Let them know they are loved and they are cared for. Now starting being a best friend back to your best friend. Whatever you need to say, say it. We can never overuse thank you, so make sure you use it often. Let others know you appreciate them and just how much you love having them in your life. I am so thankful for you. I am so happy you are in my here & now.
What’s the first thing to come to your head when you think of the word love? Maybe it’s a special someone you’ve been with for a while, a family member or a materialistic item. Now in your head make a list of the 5 things you love the most, okay go.
**NO PEEKING TILL THE LIST IS DONE**
On your list I’m sure there are friends, family, maybe even a pet. It’s a list of things we all can’t live without. Now if I asked you to make as long of a list as you wanted, what is the likelihood that you would put yourself in the top 5 or even the top 10? So often with are stuck putting everything and everyone before us. Don’t get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting others before you (this is actually highly suggested), but do not forget about yourself. We all have a lot of love to give and we hand it out like candy on Halloween. Since we are constantly handing it out, sometimes we forget to leave a little for ourselves.
Self-love is the true love that belongs at the top of the list. Constantly we are searching for something or someone to love without loving ourselves first. I know how cliche it sounds, but you have to have to have to love yourself so much before you can expect anything from anyone else. Yes your family will love you and the right friends will too. The time you need to love yourself the most is when you are realizing the wrong friends and the negativity surrounding you. Yes I know it’s not always rainbows and sunshine, but negativity should NOT outweigh the positives in your life.
Loving yourself will make you realize who doesn’t love you. For a while you will deny it, even try to make them love you, but eventually all that will come out of it is constant hurt. You will notice others putting you down when you only put them up or maybe they only call you when they need something, not just to check in on your busy life. Loving who you are and trying to become who you want to be will lead you in direction of your true values. Gaining a new view on life will start to make you question the people you surround yourself with. Letting yourself take care of you and forget about the needy friends who only take and take with no giving will refresh your mind to find something new. Sometimes it takes a major event to make us really question the love we have for ourselves. Sometimes it’s just that one person. Maybe your one is a break up or the loss of a loved one, whatever it is will make you feel like there is a space open that needs filled in your life.
When you take a step back and evaluate the situation, maybe you feel that space so greatly because they gave you all the love you forgot to give yourself. Take this space and fill it with all the laughs, the late night food runs, the endless movie marathons and all the other things(even more) that made you love your life a little more when this person was around. Do this because you owe it to not only them, but yourself. You deserves to continue on without them and be the loving, open minded person you could be with them. The funny thing about love is that it does not have to be said or heard to be felt. Doing little things everyday to boost your likelihood of having a day you love. Maybe the little things are working out, giving yourself those motivational talks when you need empowered or just finally doing something on your own that you always did with the help of someone else. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are independent, it means that you can love who you are and what you do with or without the love other people have to give.
The best part of falling in love with yourself is knowing someone will never leave. You have you and that is the strongest bond you can make. Start relying on your own decision making instead of always asking others what they think you should do (trust me, this has benefited me A LOT). Each and every morning wake up and tell yourself that today will be a good day, then try your hardest to make it that way. We choose our attitudes, so make yours a good one and good things will happen. Remember to love the little things about yourself like the weird laugh you have, the freckles you swear you hate, the cute little fingers that look like they belong on a baby, or just the curves that roll through your body. They are the beauty that not only others see, but you see. Make them beautiful through your eyes and they will strengthen you in endless ways. Who knows, you could make someone start to love their own.
No matter how much love we have for ourselves, we can always have more. Be comfortable in your own skin, it is your home. Wear the clothes you’ve always wanted to wear, it decorates your body. Remember you are a temple and there is only one You. Keep it happy, keep it healthy, keep it loving.