Dealing with Differences 

When starting my blog I didn’t have high hopes or any expectations. I have been blessed with the many loving people who read and really enjoy/understand what it going on in my crowded mind. With this endless support there has also been negativity. 
Being who you are and loving what you do will lead to persecution. You will be ill-treated, judged and made fun of no matter if you are doing right or wrong. This is where the big decision comes in, what are you going to do? Are you going to keep doing what you love or just give up? 
Choosing to continue on is the path taken by those with true passion. We must prepare ourselves when doing what we love. First we must start by expecting it. “If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you” John 15:20 states. This is saying that those before you have been judged while doing the same as you are now. Do not believe they will not judge you as well. 
Building up our strength through enduring this persecution creates a different view point. We sometimes have a certain image in our heads that this is the way things are or have to be. Getting criticism puts you into a place of thinking about your actions and what people dislike about them. Enduring this will cause a positive change we might not of ever had if someone wouldn’t have told you how they felt. The hard part is letting yourself make that change and sticking to it not because someone told you to, but because it is what is best for you. 
The fun part about negativity is that it can be changed into something positive by embracing it! We must welcome in the criticism and hate by listen to what they say. Now this sounds a little weird right? We think we shouldn’t listen to what they say because you should just “do you.” Well if we want them to listen to what we say it is only fair to give it a go for them!! Negativity can have 1 of 2 outcomes, either it will make you come to a stop and change what you are doing or push you to become more of who you are and get through what you want to teach this world. Embracing what others have to say will only make your teachings more powerful and true to your original values. 

  
Keeping up on my blog has been difficult, but within the past month I have grown. Sharing my thoughts and putting what I have to say out there for the world to read has really allowed me to start becoming who I want to be. I suggest to anyone who has a passion to pursue it whole heartedly and never allow yourself to slip away no matter the amount of persecution. Letting go of bad and holding on to the good is creating the world I want to live and love in. 

The 3 E’s: Expect

                  Endure

                  Embrace

Following these will lead to satisfaction in not only you, but the ones you help in-power. Let your heart be open to all the world has to give, but let your month be open to saying everything it needs to say. “Don’t ever worry when you are being persecuted, the only time you should worry is when you’re not ever being persecuted at all.”

Don’t Tell me I Can’t 

Values and goals are what makes you, you. There are so many things I have been striving for since I was young. Now that I am becoming an adult it’s time for me to put these dreams in to action. 

Last fall I met people who I had shared values with but not dreams. What I wanted and what I dreamed sounded crazy compared to anything these people could ever imagine. They wanted to stick around our hometown, someday make their future family here just how their parents did for them and work the average 9-5, same scheduled life. I was never this girl until I met them. I thought to myself that maybe I could do it. Work in an office, a cute boutique downtown, maybe even a stay at home mom. I could be average. 
Average is not what I was born to be. I was not created to live a life of mediocracy. Settling for a life when you know you deserve something more will only end in self regret. I was created to in-power, to create a world that only I can dream. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with average or a simple life. Average shouldn’t be seen as a negative word, but as a descriptor into the life of the non adventurer. I crave different, I crave excitement and exploration. Even as a kid growing up I was always out getting into something just out of pure curiosity. I would find creeks and woods and I would just go out on a limb (literally) and adventure (although it might have led to falling in creek water and losing flip flops a time or two). The life I’ve become accustomed to is just not for everyone. 

  
Distancing myself from these people has drawn me back to my dream. New York is my dream. New cultures, new people, new cities, new love; that is my dream. I want to live each and everyday not as my last, but as my best. I want to strive to be better than anyone has ever expected me to be. 
Coming from a mid-sized city in Indiana, a whole lot is not expected of me. Greatness is not expected. Making a difference in the world is not expected. Anything above average is not expected. My parents since day one wanted what all the other parents wanted. They hoped I’d become a happy kid with a college degree working a random townie job (local university, office job, maybe even a townie typical factory job) or doing whatever else this place has to offer. Don’t get me wrong my parents 100% support my dreams. What I’m not too positive on is how much they believe that I believe they will ever happen. I am here to tell you that I WILL make my crazy thoughts come to life. Whatever you give me, I will make something of it and I can promise you that. I promise I will make something of myself. 
Being told “do you really think you’ll make a life for yourself that way?” or “are you sure that’s really what you want to do?” is the hardest part of dreaming. Sometimes I think about the times I’ve told people in the past about all I inspire to be and these are the “back handed” responses I’ve gotten. These responses are the hardest to give a comeback on (mostly because I’m in shock that someone could be so inconsiderate). Knowing that a person you care about and trust enough could say something as heartless as that is where I get stumped. So many times people will make it all about the money. “But you might not make it with that pay” How many times do you hear a child say, “when I grow up I want to be a ________ because of all the money.” It’s not often unless this is the way they are raised from the beginning (huge mistake parents). What I am trying to get at through is that it is not about the money!! It is about the calling. What you feel in your soul and your heart that makes you say “this is what I need to do.” 
WE ARE ALL DREAMERS!! No we do not have all the same dreams, no we are all not the same person and no we do all not have the same ideas of success. This doesn’t mean that my dreams and love of fashion will not get me as far as your “exciting” and “intelligent” engineering degree. What will get me far is my will and my passion to be all I can be. Stop living logically and start living the way you love. 
I have wondered and I was lost, but now I am found. It is my time to create something everyone only dreams of. My goals are set high and though it’s going to be a long and scary path, I will push through. l will have “a great big, beautiful tomorrow.”

Temporary 

This past week I had a fake tattoo. I had picked it at random and never thought anything of it. No one really noticed it, sometimes I even forgot it was there. Except when I saw it at a quick glance it made me smile. 
  This fake tattoo reminded me a lot about the people in our lives; temporary. These days it seems like people are coming and going every few months, except for a select few who have for some reason chosen to stay. 

What I am trying to get at is that just for a second I had something and then I didn’t. Whether it was a tattoo, a friend or a family member, they all have something in common. They are missed and sometimes I really wish I had them back, but God has something else in mind (better, I’m sure of it). I know I must sound crazy. I picked something random and had it for so little time, but I still miss it. Well if you think about it, isn’t that how everything happens? 
Friends are picked at random. We don’t have a list of people we say we are friends with or want to be friends with only (at least I don’t & you shouldn’t). We meet a person at RANDOM then we find the courage to step out of a comfort zone and say hi. BAM you’re my friend. 
Let’s look at life as a boat. My boat is full of friends and family, even materialistic items. Life makes pit stops which are all the different chapters of your life. Sometimes at these stops or changes in life, people leave but people also come. The amount you gain may not be the same as you lost, but you become lighter as if something was holding you back before. That something was a toxic friendship that maybe you just had because you saw that person 5 days a week for years on end at school. Maybe it was the death of a family member that meant the world to you. They are off your boat, but they aren’t off your mind. 
The people on your boat make you the person you are destined to be. Whether it was a boyfriend who you swear you could’ve been better off without, a silly girl in your class who did nothing but annoy you all semester or your grandmother who meant the whole world to you. They all become apart of you and make you, you. 
Yes, people come and go. Yes, this is hard. Yes, it gets easier till the next person leaves. No, the loss of one person will not end you. Your boat has miles and miles of seas to sail, along those miles you will grow and gain new passengers. The passengers meant to stay will stay, but remember we often have to lighten our load if we want to keep sailing. 

I’m Sorry

Lately I have been thinking about the relationship I’ve had the longest and hold the dearest to my heart. 

The one who’s been there beginning, middle and end. My father is the one I look to for everything at every time. Whether it’s support, to tell me right from wrong, to teach me his mistakes and to lead me to avoid my own, to make me take care of myself and to love me unconditionally.
what’s so crazy to think about is how long our relationship has been and think of all the arguments, which sometimes tend to tear, but mostly bond our close friendship. Being one on one at most times leads to the obvious blow up more than we’d like to admit (especially when our likeminded personalities clash).
The amount of yelling between us lately over the littlest of things has brought me to the thinking of forgiveness. The scoring of fights vs forgiveness is always 1 to 2. We fight, we fight, we forgive. 

Now don’t get me wrong, in my almost 18 years of living my father has spoken the words “I’m sorry” maybe 10 (rough estimate) and I know he really meant it when he said it. All the other fights didn’t end that way and that’s okay because forgiveness is NOT an “I’m sorry”

Forgiveness is going through the motions of loving and caring more than making anger and conflict. Forgiveness is accepting what happened and moving forward without pushing what happened under the rug, but cleaning up the mess equally. Taking responsibility for my actions and accepting that I do wrong every now and then (even though I hate admitting it). We all do something we shouldn’t, it’s nature.  

I have recently learned about “I” messages (hold on to your seats I might sound crazy). There’s an endless amount of times I can remember that fights or situations have been brought back up just because we say ” you need to _____” or “maybe if you would just stop ______”. These things feel so attacking and said with the wrong tone can spark a fire that won’t stop burning. 

“I feel as though things could be different if _____”. I know how cliché this sounds and how unlikely many people are to actually use this but maybe I have a little hope. Thinking before we speak can get us all a step ahead in these situations, then the “i” Message wouldn’t come into play along with the yelling & eventual blow up. 

We are humans. We sin and we all sin differently. We must forgive because forgiveness makes us human along with our flaws. We must accept others for their mistakes and accept ourselves for them as well. Forgetting that we are human is where we fall short. We are not God. We are not perfect, but we are hopeful, we are willing and we are forgiving. 

Being Present

Being Present – Thoughts on judging others and building bridges

As in living for the right now.

I think too often we all think of an outcome or a bad reaction to something in our past and it stops us from stepping out or taking that risk that could potentially benefit us.

It is trusting in yourself, then and now, that you can move forward no matter what your past has been, and knowing things can be different. That you can change and believing that other people can do the same.  

We judge people on their past with out even really realizing and we also do it to ourselves. I know I’ve had times where I think, “Hey, I really want to do this but I don’t think I will because before I tried to do something like this and I didn’t complete it. It didn’t work out the way I hoped.” Or maybe it’s because we have seen someone else try and fail.

You are not someone else. You are you and you are capable of knowing that if you believe, you strive and give your 200% that you can climb a mountain, read a book or anything you say you can.

Do not allow the judging of yourself by yourself, or what others think, influence what you know you are capable of. Judging is where is all begins or it all ends. In order for change to ever start happening you have to learn that even the people you don’t like or just someone you see as different than who you are, you must change the way you respond to those people.

We always feel so uncomfortable, like we are tip toeing around someone who might be judging us, and we don’t fully allow ourselves to open up the way we would to someone we do like or see no difference between. We are spending so much time worrying about the differences and not trying to find the similarities and connecting in the way we need to end the building of walls and instead we can start building bridges!